My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
