i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Can you repeat that, but with context?
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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