Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Drunk is a universal language darling
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Randomize
