If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Randomize