I just pynch a tree in the face
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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