they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
