I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
