So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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