I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
