My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
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