On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Randomize
