dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
