Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
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I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
