I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
