You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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