dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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