So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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