whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Randomize