So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
