CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
