your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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