Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize