How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
