His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
