What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
sex in a hospital.. check
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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