just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
