i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
