He asked me if I "almost moaned"
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
