I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
