I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
