Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Randomize
