I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Your topless pictures make me question reality
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize