just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Randomize
