My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize