your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I CAN MOONWALK!
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
