just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
