i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
