Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
