Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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