does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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