I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Randomize
