so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
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