He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
