I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Randomize
