This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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