White coat. Heels.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
