Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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