i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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