i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
