I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
