Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
you're hired as official boob wrangler
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
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