I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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