thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
there's paper in my vomit.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
