Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Who did Billy Mays play for?
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
