What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Ladies don't puke and tell
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
