areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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