i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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