why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
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