no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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