I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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