The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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